AAA

If you are not the person who scrutinizes over someone else’s success in their blog pictures, then you are excused from the following pep talk. (And congratulations to you because I am not that that strong of a person.) Truth be told, I don’t know how many feel the same way I do but if it is just one, then this post is dedicated to YOU!

Something inside me dies just a little when I see someone else accomplish the seemingly impossible, succeed or just do something amazing that I have not. And I die because, well, it wasn’t me and I am a little jealous. I hate being the person watching instead of doing. I have a need to feel accomplished, to feel better than someone else; to be the best. Am I competitive or just human?

The places it hits me the most are:

1. weight loss

2. and missing out on a bargain. (but that is a whole different story full of dorkiness and psychotic traits distinct to my unique personality.)

So…weight loss. I don’t like being overweight. Frankly, I don’t know anyone that does. I see someone lose a bunch of weight and I say to myself she-looks-so-good-but-I-don’t-want-to-compliment-her-on-her-success-because-I secretly-am-jealous-and-I-am-frustrated-that-she-looks-so-good-and-that’s-not-fair-because-I-want-to-look-good-too. As you can see, I have an issue. So, I guess I just decided to take one step forward and stop letting everyone else’s success drive me to the closest pint of Ben & Jerry’s and let it inspire me instead.

For all those who know me, you know I went from this:

My very first 5k in 2006 that I refused to run. Finished in 55 minutes. (I've come a long way in confidence and speed.)

To this: (half marathon 2009)

To this again in 2010 (for the 4th time):

To this again.

Just last saturday. See below.

I have heard comments about what an animal I am but I want you to rest assured that I must put on a good show.

On the outside you might see me “getting skinny” or peg me as a “runner” but in fact I am a good liar. This is what is really going on:

· I can barely run 3 miles without thinking I might actually have to amputate my legs afterward. I am not a runner. Those who think I am hard core…how’s that for hard core?!

o I did finish a half marathon in 2009 but I walked some of it and finished in record time at 3 hours 19 minutes. There you go. I have my excuses but I will leave those out this time and just let you know that I did not run the whole way. It was hard. It is supposed to be hard. But I did it. (By the way, that is super crazy duper slow!)

· I still have some trouble areas in my butt, thighs, hips, tummy, arms and boobs. If you have at any moment thought I didn’t, the right pair of jeans or body shaping undergarments hide a multitude of sins…let me tell you.

· I absolutely drag myself to the gym or to a workout. I have never been excited to workout. I try to mix in strength workouts with weights because I hear it is important for your muscles to be strong so you can burn more when you do the cardio workouts. It’s true.

· I love food. I would eat all day long if I could but I can’t. I love pizza, candy, whole milk and every kind of bread. Pretty much just carbohydrates in general. I am currently engulfed in a Biggest Loser challenge that has worked wonders for me so right now I watch what I eat, count my dang calories and I hate it but it works so I do. Calories in vs. calories out. Period.

· Every time I go for a “run” I get a little stronger and I can go further but my legs burn for the first half mile, my ankle hurts due to some unknown injury and my butt bounces so much that I am almost positive that I have caused a few traffic accidents from rubber-neckers. However, after that first ½ mile, it does get better and my butt becomes numb so I don’t notice it as much. But, and a big BUT…I run an 11-minute mile and I am dang proud that I can do that. I am not fast nor have I ever been but running a mile in 11 minutes is a heck of a lot faster than sitting on the couch for 11 minutes.

· Since March 14^th, I have lost 25 pounds and it is only because I work hard. I exercise 6 days a week, a little or a lot and I eat right but I do cheat. Sometimes I eat a handful of Ritz and sometimes I have a bite of ice cream but for the most part, I stick to it because it feels so good to be on the end that gets the admiration instead of getting depressed because someone is smarter, thinner, more talented, better than I am.

· I set goals and I reach them. I get that little fear in the pit of my stomach every time I think about entering a 5k that tells me not to sign up but when I cross that finish line…oh the growth for my spirit and self esteem!! There is a lot of truth to setting a goal and accomplishing it. I know I must set goals or I will sit idly by and let those stories of success bring me down.

o This summer I set a goal to run five 5k’s in 5 months. 3.1 miles is manageable. I ran 3.1 miles on my own last week in 33 minutes. Then I ran in my first of five 5k’s just this last Saturday and took 1^st place in my age group. Hello? Me. I won. First place. And I run an 11-minute mile. I won a 2-month membership to Work It Out Gym. It was a small race…only about 40 people, mostly teenagers but it doesn’t matter. I can say I took first place. I ran that one in 34:31. It was on gravel so I think that is why I was slower. I just kept telling myself…run now, rest later. Let me tell you, 3 miles is a LONG way but it’s NOT really a long way! I have never had a runner’s high and thought, “that last 15 miles was easy, I will just keep going.” NEVER!!

· I don’t follow a diet. I eat what grows in the ground, on trees and animals as a guideline but I love lots of packaged stuff too. Just eat what you know is going to be good on your body. Trust me, I have eaten a McDonald’s hamburger or two in my life and yes, they taste really good but they aren’t worth it. Just don’t do it. But once in awhile it will happen and don’t hate yourself for it, shake it off and move on.

· I love to go on bike rides and I didn’t used to. I never knew if 3 miles was a lot or if 10 was insane but I want you to know, you can do 10 no problem. It isn’t that hard. It is just a persistence thing and it is great cardio without the pounding on your joints. I now do about 15 miles on my long bike rides.

· I have 4 children and it is important to me to be home as much with them as possible. Stealing away to workout is a sacrifice for sure. But if you make exercising an appointment instead of an optional activity, you will find your family benefitting from your health. There are days that there is no way I am going to get away so I figure out a way and don’t let excuses control my life. When Tatum is asleep, I send the kids outside and I run wind sprints in the cul-de-sac with the baby monitor on high volume. All my neighbors could see the bouncing show if they want to but I have come to the point in my life that I DON’T CARE! My health (and feeling good in my own skin) is far more important than my pride.

Trust me, I am normal. I am not good at running but I am doing something that makes me feel better about myself. So next time you think you can’t, I promise you can. I feel strong every time I run and that is why I do it…not because I am good at it.

Things not to bring me (or to definitely bring me) because this is where I have NO control:

Cinnamon Rolls

Lofthouse Sugar Cookies

Caramel anything

Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups

Pizza

Pie

(notice how all of them are desserts?)

Next time you see me post about an accomplishment, it really is just that. I did something even though it isn’t normal or easy for me. It’s really about stepping outside of your comfort zone and PRETENDING that you know or are comfortable with what you are doing. Everyone had to start somewhere. You will probably fool everybody else, not yourself.

So there you have it. I am absolutely like you. I am scared, tired, slow, pitiful, flabby, strong, embarrassed, prideful and very very normal. Hopefully this post either inspires you to be better or just makes you feel better about yourself because you could totally win against me! J I will take either one.

Now go have a 7^th cookie, throw the rest away and start fresh tomorrow with a new resolve to be the one that other people admire. Admiration tastes better than that cookie does any day.

(unless you make these cookies, then I would choose cookies over admiration)

Love to all those who struggle,

Rachel

Rob's mom was very generous to invite us to Cannon Beach for one night over spring break. We were threatened with snow and thunderstorms and we got the optimum opposite...mostly sunshine both days. Cannon Beach, Oregon has tons of charm and activities that I adore...first and foremost...some of the best salt water taffy west of the Mississippi. Sadly, being involved in a weight loss challenge has its downfalls. I ate 3 pieces instead of my usual 56. Bruce's Candy Kitchen has the most mouthwatering homemade candy of which I did not get to sample...including a chocolate covered, caramel covered homemade marshmallow. Be still my soul.

My kids are always first to jump in.

It was a balmy 46 the first evening after the sun went down and the three oldest posed for half a second before giving in to the cold.

Speaking on behalf of my children, they would say the best part of the trip was the indoor pool, hands down. Tatum even got to wear that cute baby swimsuit that never gets used.