My Journey to destroy my unhappiness...

People.  It's been a long &*$% journey!!  To make a loooooong story very short because, frankly, I don't even know where to begin, I will let the pictures do most of the talking.  

In 2007, I found myself in a very unhappy place.  3 babies under the age of 3, living in a small apartment in the heat and humidity of Texas and grossly overweight.  

I had no idea what I was capable of back then but I set out to find what makes me deep down happy. 

I began walking, cutting back on carbs and sugars and with very little knowledge, I lost 30 pounds.  I moved to Seattle with my family of 5 and continued to gain an education on how to lose weight in a healthy way.  I worked out every day at the gym, trained and ran/jogged a half marathon, lost another 30 pounds and then...got pregnant.  And I was told to turn around and head down the proverbial weight-loss mountain.  I was not happy about that and promptly gained 40 back.  

Then, I tried again, with 4 babies in tow.  Worked hard again, counted calories, started weight-lifting, gained an education on nutrition and lost that 40.  

Then I got pregnant AGAIN! 

This time I was SHOVED down that mountain and I died a little inside. 

I was &**$@ furious!!!

It took me a looooong time to get past that one.  But I did.  And I am insanely stronger for it.

But that is where this part of the story begins...

Baby #5 was 7  months old and I thought it was time to strap on my hiking boots.  I had tried many times after her birth but 5 kids just kept kicking me down.

December 27, 2012 I finally said enough is enough.

And I began again.

I was determined to conquer this mountain one last time and scream obscenities from the top.  

I am so so sick of climbing that mountain!!

December 27, 2012 - October 29, 2012 (58.6 lbs down)

My goal was to lose 50 and I exceeded that.  I had plenty of help along the way with a few dear friends, friendly competitions, my own stubborn will, plenty of 5k's, generous compliments, my dear supportive husband, insanely brilliant trainers at Ronin and of course my Heavenly Father.  Thank you to all those who gave me courage to keep going.

I began in December and worked hard until May.  Took the summer off to maintain and then started a friendly competition September 3rd to kick the last 20.  Today was our final weigh-in day and I killed it.  I lost 24 more pounds in 8 weeks and am now at a place I have never been before.

The same shirt I wore 7 years ago.  It has been my favorite but now it serves as only a reminder of 7 years of extremely hard work.

       December                 March                    September                October                       Today

 As insanely hard as it is to be this vulnerable and share with you some of the most painful parts of my personal life, I am the strong-willed amazing person I am today because of it.  I know how to eat right, push myself when I exercise, live a healthy lifestyle and in turn it creates health in all areas of my life.  Although it will be a journey that never ends, I am so GRATEFUL to be here.  At this place of contentment and hope for a better future.  I feel on top of the world even if it is just my little mountain!!

Since I started in 2007, I have lost over 80 pounds.  This is a place that suits me.

My girls doin' funny things

Shoving it through the nostrils enables quicker consumption.

4 of us got haircuts before the back to school rush began with our favorite hair stylist 

Could these two be better friends?  Holding hands, giggling in the car warranted a "pull to the side of the road" snapshot.  

 I honestly don't know where she got that lipstick.  I have never worn that shade.

Caught, red-shirted, climbing on the car.  She's lucky she didn't bust my window wiper or I would have busted that grin right off her face with my karate moves.

First & Last (2012-2013 school year)

It seems fitting, and about the right time, since school will be starting up again in 3 weeks, that I post last years 1st day of school/last day of school pictures.

I like to keep you hanging all summer like that!!

Biggest changes...Olivia's emotional state, Eden's hair color/length and the new backdrop. (Our house) 

You can really get a sense for how much her hair color changed when we dyed it.  It got slightly more unkempt as the year went on though.  That girl won't wear a hair tie to save her life.   

My boy doesn't seem to change much. 

 She is quite lovely when she smiles.

Move over Kirkland...Justin is in the house

Once upon a time, I couldn't live without Kirkland Signature Peanut Butter.  But the powers that be, took it away because of an e.coli scare.  

Then, I lost all hope for a happy life.

I was just about to commit a grievous sin and pick up a jar of Skippy when what did my eyes behold on the Costco shelf but my precious KS peanut butter returning to it's former bright spot in my life.

But it did not return, like I had imagined, in its former glory.  It was......

gasp!  

Not organic but "natural".

They thought we wouldn't notice.

At the time, I didn't notice, nor did I care.

But oh my blessed soul does it matter!!

Like Miracle Whip on a BLT, it matters!!

At first bite my love began to wain.   It lacked the right balance of salt, nuttiness and the zest of Adam Levine's smolder.  I grew restless with every spoonful until I was left empty and lost only half way through the jar. 

When your pet goldfish, Bubbles dies, you lose that same part of your heart.  

Until, a miracle.

One day, an accidental walk down the health food isle at Fred Meyer resulted in an epic mistake that has forever changed my life.  

20% off was what the yellow tag screamed but "Maple" had me intrigued.  It was the story on the side of the label that sold me and the $8 jar of almond butter reluctantly landed in my cart.

I have to admit, I didn't trust Justin fully with my heart until after several lunch dates.  At first I was reluctant to let my first love go but the more I hung out with Justin and his Maple Almond Butter, the more I couldn't stand to be away from it.

I am pretty sure J slipped a pill in my butter because I am head over heels for this stuff.

It's a tiny bit rough around the nutty edges and every bit powerful like the Serengeti.  It's hypnotic mostly and worth a wild ride on the tongue for a good 23 seconds.


Honestly, I don't like to share my time with my almond butter so I rarely go on double dates.  But when I do, I don't monkey around and I choose a banana.  Every time.  It's the only combo that works well enough to boast about.  Trust me on this one, it's down right immoral.  You oscillate between ripe and rough, smooth and salty, chewy and charming.

But if you want the true, wicked awesome, straight up gangsta facts...go naked.  

Right out of the fridge, right off the spoon, savoring every last pasty smear is by far, my pairing of choice.  

This is where my life is today. 

 I am in a low-down dirty place filled with cuss words and salty tears.  

Don't ever let yourself go to rock bottom and keep a big enough stash of Justin's Almond Butter in your fridge to last you into the millennium.  

Still 33 years old

Technically is was my 34th birthday but every single picture I took was promptly erased when I did backup on my phone.  These are the only two pictures I possess and that makes me sad.  I don't remember ANYTHING!!  Therefore...since it didn't really happen, I'm still 33. 

Except this.  Which in fact, I remember thinking it was one of my favorite parts of the whole day.  

As the doorbell rang, and I opened my front door, I was met by the entire Buck family singing happy birthday to me.  I was greeted with two bouquets of balloons and 2 pots of my favorite flower, the hydrangea.  As they finished the song, I was then ATTACKED by 6 cans of silly string.  

It was epic!!

As epic as balloons and flowers on just another average day can be.  

For the man who has more patience than I do

There is something about parties in this house.  We don't do them especially well but we ALWAYS celebrate.  And we are loud.  I am excited for the years of graduations, sweet 16's, baby showers and mission farewells that light up our house.

This celebration was right up our alley.

Super awesome paper and plastic decor, homemade presents and 5 kids to crowd around as their father opens his gifts.

Finally got him that book "All About Himalayan Cats" that he's been wanting.  

We just love Himalayan cats.  

It was written before he was born but the content is still very interesting!

Olivia drew a picture of him. 

The similarities are astounding!

The one thing I don't see...the eyebrows.  Those aren't close at all.  

His "love you to pieces" tie from Eden.

It's official.  He did it.  He finally won the trophy. 

World's Best Father

Started the footprints tie back in 2005 with 2 footprints.  Never expected to run out of space.  We had to get a little creative to fit the last two this year.  

With 4 of his 5 children on his lap, he was given his main gift.  A portrait of his posterity.

Then came the really good stuff.  

For our anniversary 2 weeks prior, I took him to a little gem of a sandwich shop in Pioneer Square called Delicatus.  I have blogged about this place before but it was his first time trying the Chief Stealthy Bomber.  He had 1 bite.  One single bite and his eyes got huge, he stopped chewing and he looked at me in disbelief.  "That is amazing!"  I would not share another bite with him.  My sandwich, mine!! 

So, as Father's Day approached, I knew what I had to do.  

I was so excited to replicate this sandwich in all it's simplicity.

Crusty Italian Roll

Shaved Roast Beef (that I made in the crockpot the day before)

Mozzerella Cheese

Caramelized Onions

and the secret weapon...

Jalepeno Lime Aioli

all dipped in a Au Jus.

I was impressed with my knock off.  

He seemed less excited than I had anticipated but I know he loves my cooking so I am not worried.  

This was more the reaction I was looking for.  She dug it.  

Topped off with Pinterest supplying the recipe for Salted Pretzel Caramel Brownies.  

Which I was not impressed with even after making my own homemade caramel.

It just fell flat on flavor.  The pretzels got chewy, but not a good way and the chocolate lacked richness.  I won't make them again.  In fact, I threw the last 1/3 of leftovers over the back fence since it was a waste of my calories.

Hazel offered up the final gift of the day with a nap.  

He is the king of our home and deserves to be treated as such.  

Thank you Rob for choosing to be a real award winning father. 

We are all really lucky.

It's really just about the scones!

I am born with the need to be the hostess. 

If you ask me "what should I bring?"  I am going to tell you, "nothing."

When you come to my house, you are coming to relax, not to work before you get here.  

But, in the past few years, 10 to be exact, I have had to put hostessing on hold to raise my family.

Still raising them but the bug to entertain still bites once in a while.

And once in a while, I start to itch.

My dear friends and neighbors, L and J share the same birthday.  

So, I hostessed an afternoon tea.

With 2 babies at my feet.

Because I just can't sit down and stare at my babies like I should.

I am a busy body.

So, I give you...Tea for Three

Sunlit, sweet and serene.

Flowers graciously provided by the adjoining neighborhood florist.  Aka, the lilac bushes so laden that they dip right in through your open window when you drive up in the dead of night.  I just happen to have a pair of garden shears that were a little hungry.

Pre-guest appetizers.

Cheese plate with crackers and balsamic strawberry crustini.

My guests arrive and we chat about the weather, pollen and then giggle.

And if anybody knows tea, they know the scones are what we have tea for.

Oh, the scones!!!  Rosemary scones.

With Devonshire Cream, lime curd mousse and homemade blackberry peach jam.  

Every bite was pure heart-wrenching bliss.  I am telling you...these scones will literally kill you. They are that good.  They are that GREAT!!  And because I love ya...recipe is at the bottom of the  post.

And for brunch?
Chocolate Intensity Bites with fresh blackberry
Lemon Poppyseed Mini Muffns (oh who am I kidding, everything was mini)
Avacado & Egg Finger Sandwiches
Mexican Quiche
Caramel Fondant Creams
& fresh fruit

Everything was so amazing that we barely drank our tea.  The tea?  Don't even remember the flavor.  Just watered down grass clipping to me.

Just an excuse to have scones.

Tatum got to reap the benefits of leftovers.

We serve those we love.  J & L, you have been served!!

Tea is just plain, honest to goodness, clean, delicious fun.

Try it sometime.

With these scones only.  

Rosemary "Rockstar" Scones

• 2 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for dusting
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh rosemary leaves
• 1/4 teaspoon fine sea salt
• 6 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch pieces
• 1 cup heavy cream

Directions

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. Line a baking sheet with a silpat or parchment paper. Set aside.

In the bowl of a food processor, pulse together the flour, sugar, baking powder, rosemary, salt, and butter until the mixture resembles a coarse meal. Transfer the mixture to a medium bowl. Gradually stir in the cream until the mixture forms a dough. On a lightly floured work surface, roll out the dough into a 3/4-inch thick, 10-inch circle. Cut like a pizza into 6 large triangles and put on the prepared baking sheet. Bake for 18 to 20 minutes or until the edges are golden brown. Transfer the cooked scones onto a wire rack and cool for 30 minutes or just eat fresh and hot out of the oven.