See My Friend M?

This is my friend M.

She heard my subconscious cries for help one day. She brought me chocolate then stayed to listen. Then she just up and cooked dinner for my four embarrassingly ungrateful children...she who does not cook dinner...so she says.

Isn't she pretty?

I love my friend M!

Family Fotos

On the snowiest day this winter, I got excited about taking our annual family picture...sans coats. Enjoy looking at people that were freezing but were trying to pretend it was summer time.

Thanks to Lori and Melain for snapping this treasures.

This one probably should have been on our Christmas card...more us in a nutshell if you want the honest truth.

Bowling is Most Rewarding

I don't usually make it priority to attend my children's elementary school events since I have a baby in tow but a friend offered to babysit Olivia and off I went to Eden's bowling party. They turn down the lights, turn up the music and spin the disco ball.

She didn't know I was coming and when I tapped her on the shoulder she about went into orbit. Peels of laughter and joy erupted from her face as she would not stop hugging me. It has become one of my cherished memories as she was almost in tears with excitement.

If you bowl a spare or a strike, you get to write your name on the poster on the wall. All three of us got to practice our signatures.

The next day when Indy was surprised he handled it like a true man..."oh, hi mom."

Uh Oh Oreo

A favorite memory from 2003...Eden (6 months) vs the Oreo

had to be replicated...Tatum (6 months) vs the Oreo

Happy Birthday...You Have Lung Cancer

It was an absolute pleasure to see my grandmother.

Although I haven't blogged about our Christmas vacation yet, the most important part was saying goodbye to my grandmother.

She is 75 today! She made it to her 75th birthday!

She is dying from lung cancer.

A few weeks ago she found out that she would probably not live another year...and now it looks like she won't live another month. So grateful I live close enough.

This once vibrant woman exists only in my memories as now she lies in bed waiting for her turn. I have endless memories of visiting her down the lane. Too many to count. She raised 9 children, has 37 grandchildren and 27 great grandchildren.

I took Tatum to meet her great grandmother for the first time. I kept a brave face but I was weak compared to her. Her face is full of appreciation, acceptance, understanding and courage. She smiled constantly.

We talked, she thanked me for coming, we both knew it was happening and why I was there.

I let her hold her great granddaughter and revel in days gone by, how she wouldn't see her grow up but I was wrong. She caught me off guard when she said "Rachel, I am not afraid of dying. I will always be with you." I sobbed on her shoulder. I am the oldest grandchild and I am honored to be so.

I laid next to her for a few minutes while she and my mother talked about pain medication. I had to go but said I would be back later.

I saw her a couple more times to bring her soup but then on our way home, I stopped in. I have my own family, I had to go. I brought the kids in and took one last picture with her. Rob took the kids to the car and I stood there, speechless.

I said "I love you." She said "I love you." And as I backed quietly out of the room just taking it in one last time, her face disappearing behind the door, I heard her whisper, "You will always be my number one." My favorite thing she says.

As we start our 9 hour drive home, knowing it is the last time I would see her in this lifetime, I am overcome. Rob rubs my arm and I bury my head in my hands. Why does it have to make your heart ache?

Luckily, I will see her again.

Happy Birthday grandma!!

Love yours always,

your Number One