Saturday, January 15, 2011

Self Help Books I Need to Read


If anyone knows where to get these books, I would like to read them...

  • How Not to Resent Your Newborn When You’ve Got Things You Want to Do Even Though You Are Pretty Sure It is Because You Are Just Really Tired
  • How to Raise a More Considerate Child
  • How to Function on 70% Energy Capacity
  • How to Resist Punching the New CFO of the Family (a.k.a Husband)
  • How to Help Your Husband Understand that Raising a Family Costs Money Even Though He Would Like To Stop Spending Altogether
  • How to Keep Your Transmission from Going Out on Christmas Vacation
  • How to Keep Your Child from Developing a Serious Attitude
  • How to Get Out of Bed in the Morning When You’ve Been up 6 Times with a Baby
  • Ideas for Presents for People with Birthdays Right after Christmas
  • How to fold 1,500,000 Pieces of Laundry Every Day
  • How Not to Eat All Carbohydrates In Sight
  • How to Keep Your Kids from Biting Their Fingernails, Coughing on the Baby & Dumping Their Backpacks in the Middle of the Floor at 4pm
  • How to Look at Your Naked Self in the Mirror without Crying
  • How to Speak at an Intellectual Level Slightly Higher Than a 5th Grader
  • How to Find Time to Take a Nap Just Once This Year
  • How to Feel Less Guilty About Slipping Your Child a Little Benadryl before Bedtime
  • How to Make Cleaning Your Bathrooms a Priority
  • How to Drink More Water and Less Diet Soda
  • How to Go Through Less Than 14 Outfit Changes Sunday Morning
  • How to Choke Down a Spinach Smoothie
  • How to Thank Your Parents for EVERYTHING
  • How to Recognize Your Divine Womanhood Even Though You Feel A Little Injustice during the Lonely Newborn Nights
  • Creative Dinner Ideas When You Feel Like You Just Finished Cleaning-up Last Nights Dinner
  • How to Get to Bed Before 11pm

2 comments:

debi said...

You need to change the title of this post to, "Self Help Books I Am Going to Write".

Love your writing style and YOU are doing so much good.

d.

Zappe Family said...

Amen, amen, amen. I love it and can so relate to it all. Oh...and just punch Rob. He deserves a good punch or two...or...three... :)