**Although this post started out as a recount of our cemetery scavenger hunt we had over the summer, it erupted, without my planning, into a recount of my grandmother's funeral. You can see a lovely video montage of her life here.
My grandmother, Elsie Jean Gale Thackeray, died April 18th of last year. I was blessed to be given the ability to fly down there for her funeral and I have never felt so much gut-wrenching emotion as when I saw her in her casket.
That moment is NOT for the weak.
An excerpt from my journal the day after her burial...
"Going into that room where she lay waiting for last goodbyes was like jumping off a cliff. I could NOT bring myself to step through the door. It was suffocating so I waited in the hall for awhile and took deep breaths. Later, after summoning every ounce of courage I had, I was finally able to look at her and I calmed way down after I realized it wasn't her anymore. That body was but a vessel. She almost appeared a stranger. Her life and warmth were what made her grandma-not her face or her hands or her movement. It was okay to look and then letting her go came easier."
A non-smoker, she was taken by lung cancer after months of failing. I remember clearly the last time I saw her. I knew it would be the last. Just after the new year, I said my last goodbyes, started to exit the room and as the door jam obstructed her face from my v
iew, I lost all composure. I sobbed in my hands as we drove away from her for the last time. Her wrinkled face was filled with sheer gratitude for her life. She was never more involved in affection than those final months. Every minute counted and she grasped tightly onto it. Although the teary stories are endless, my favorite is her calling me her #1 and telling me I will always be.
"Hearing my mom recount her last breaths created such a stir in me that I could scarcely cry. Listening, knowing and then she was inside herself. Unaware that she was finally leaving those she loved. Fighting but receiving death patiently. Then her breathing slowed, then sped up. Her spirit was free but her body was coasting slowly to a halt since the pilot had abandoned ship. Her breath took in deep a couple more times because it was trained to so many times before and then it was done. Her mission was complete. Rest thou good and faithful servant, you deserve a rest."
Sometimes I miss her so much my heart literally aches. I pay homage to her in my own little ways though. We even had a birthday party for her on January 7th to celebrate what would have been her 76th birthday.
It was my privilege to be hers!
Until we meet again.
P.S. Pay no attention to the hairy animal behind Eden, he snuck in the picture at the last minute but he doesn't bite.
Back to August of 2011.
For me, there is a certain fascination that revolves around cemeteries. I feel a huge sense of loss there and rightfully so but more for the stories I have missed out on not death itself. These people had interesting lives but I didn't get to know those stories and I feel like I have missed out. For those who died young, I feel that they missed out on creating a story and that too makes me ever so sad. A sadness of waste.
Yet, every time we visit my hometown, we visit the cemetery for one reason or another. It's a place of peace, mystery and no crowds. You practically have it all to yourself.
Indiana poses with his middle name.
My grandmother's site, minus a proper headstone yet, but with the greenest grass on this side of the fence!
A fun family activity that allows you to share in the lives of those who have already passed on.
Graveyard Scavenging
The idea is to head out with several pieces of paper, a pen and few crayons for rubbings. Separate into teams and you have 30 minutes to find the following:
- Lived the longest
- Born and died the same day
- Died on their birthday (any age)
- Has a bible inscription on their headstone
- Is described as Beloved Husband
- Has roses on their gravestone
- Shares your same birthday
- Shares your name
- Served in the military
- Any special interest
- Died or was born on today’s date
Awarding points:
Who ever comes the closest gets the point.
Cancel point if the answers are from the same exact headstone.
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